Painful Way to Live: Ocean Eyes
by Death Of Sky
Summary: She's moved all the way from the shores of Maine, with her brother to be with her mother. In a new school, and new friends, A secret past squirms beneath the surface, struggling to be released and destroy everything. Updates starting up...
1. Goodbye

Her eyes were like an empty dessert, dark as a solar eclipse and her hair as dark as a fallen angel's blackest wing- but her skin was whiter than purest snow and lips were barely a pink rose. She wore a strapless white and lacey sundress that hovered above her shins and wore no shoes and her toenails were pure and clean, and she wore no jewelry but a simple white barret that lifted her butt-legnth tresses.

This was her life- the lonely, warm beach along the shores of Maine that her father owned. Every day was the same: She'd wake up, eat breakfast, go to her morning lessons with her private schooling instructor, eat lunch, go to see her friend Henry, the gardener and go to brood at the beach over her miserable, lonely and dull life. The beach was her home; she spent the majority of her afternoons and evenings there, and the maids who had become family over the years saddened and asked her why she wouldn't go to the city with her brother once in a while. But she'd just smile and hurried off to the beach, as she always did- like she did today. But today she was here at the beach, brooding for a different reason. A reason that was about to change both teenager's lives- their mother.

She didn't like to think about her mother…she was too confused as to whether or not she hated or feared the woman more, to even wander towards the topic. There was a frightening memory that lurked in her every nightmare, part of her past that she refused to see but refused to forget. And her brother Souta, her twin brother, looked at it far too much and there was not a day gone by that he did not remember.

But now, it could not be helped- As she watched the sun slowly fall to it's death in the deep blue ocean, she replayed the memory of the previous night, slowly so as not to miss a single detail.

FLASHBACK

_"Papa, what's going on? You've already been here three times in the last week, so I know something's the matter." Kagome stood right in the doorway to her father's grand, spacious office, hands on her hips with a small frown. For a moment, it seemed as though the older man behind the desk was not looking at her, but looking right through her. He seemed older, all of the sudden, and a lot more…vulnerable._

"_Papa?" Hiroki Higurashi snapped to attention, the wiped a hand over his face and shook his head, as if trying to shake out a thought. He motioned to the chair in front of the desk, intended for visitors._

"_Sit." She walked slowly into the room, feeling a bit cold in her black, thigh-length sundress. She sat before her father in the hard wooden chair, and leaned towards him in anticipation._

_"So Papa, what's this all about? Please, tell me." His suddenly stood up, and went to the window, looking out at the bright, beautiful day. _

"_Kagome, this is not going to be an easy thing to tell you…you may not even wish to know. But seeing as there is no way out of this conflict, I've no choice but to do so. I've already had to tell Souta, and he is…well, he is rather upset." Her dark eyes narrowed. It had to be something bad…maybe her Papa was losing his empire? The money? Or was Papa simply in trouble with somebody? She clenched handfuls of her dress, and grit her teeth._

"_Papa, whatever it is, I can handle it. You said it yourself, Papa, Souta is a baby- he'd be upset over anything." _

_This made him laugh. "Hm, well- I suppose that is true…but this is much more than that."_

_He turned to her, his face now grave and quiet pale. _

"_You remember your mother." This simple sentence drove any slight cheery feeling out of and one hundred feet away from her body, that very moment. Chills went flying up and down her spine, and emotion was wiped out of her face. _

"_Yes, Papa. I remember her well- what of it?" _

"_It seems…she's been released. And she wants to see you, what's more." Kagome stood abruptly from the chair, and his expression seemed to say, "I told you so." _

"_But she can't, Papa. We're all the way over here…and she's supposed to stay in Tokyo, right? That was her sentence." She backed away from the desk, and he winced._

"_She can't leave Tokyo- but her lawyers are saying it- that you can go there." _

"_But, you wouldn't let them, right Papa? You- you know what she did."_

"_That's true- I wouldn't give my kids up without a fight, darling. I do know what she did- everyone does. But…it seems the laws are singing a different tune these days." She stared blankly at him._

"_And what tune is that exactly, Papa?" He glanced at her, before reaching into his desk drawer for a cigar and a prize silver lighter that as a child Kagome always loved to look at. She stared at the beautiful, untarnished silver and the strange Egyption symbol that fascinated her- the Ankh of death. For a moment, she let her mind space out with the interest of the item. Then she snapped back to attention as he continued to speak._

_"Something along the lines of…redemption, and second chances. They believe…that your mother has been cured, and that she has worked out all of the snags in her life. The belive…that she deserves custody." Kagome's face twisted to anger at that moment. _

"_Outrageous! But she tried to- oh, how can such a crime be redeemable? Once fucked up, always fucked up!" He laughed dryly at her outburst._

"_Your brother said the same thing."_

"_And he is right!"_

"_And both of you are sixteen years old- not yet adults." She gaped at her father._

"_Are you seriously telling me that- that…we have no choice in this?" _

_He blew a cloud of spoke in the opposite direction of her._

"_That's exactly what I'm telling you. And no matter how much I fight it, I've no choice either, dear. Your mother is smarter than I've ever given her credit for. Pulled the rug right out from under me, crafty little fox she is," He gazed out angrily at the sea, lost in thought. Kagome clenched her fists, and bit down on her lip._

"_When, Papa?"_

_He looked up, resting the cigar is the ashtray. "You honestly want to know?" She nodded solemnly, bracing herself for anything but the answer he was about to give._

"_Next week." And, knowing his daughter, he sighed and plugged his ears._

_"SON OF A BITCH! WHO THE FUCK DOES SHE THINK SHE IS, WHAT RIGHT DOES SHE HAVE…" The shouting faded as his daughter ran from the office, racing down the halls and all of the sudden, Souta Higurashi was passing by the door._

"_You told her, didn't you?" The older man nodded at his son, who mumbled "I thought as much" and continued on to his room. _

_Hiroki turned once more to the window. _

"_Satsumi…what the hell are you going to do? After what you did to my babies, I could never trust you again. Something's wrong." His voice was barely above a whisper, but his eyes intent on the sea- as if he thought it would carry his words upon the sea across the world, to a woman he once loved who should have been kept in her cell. _

_END OF FLASHBACK _

As she always did, Kagome made sure to stay until she caught a shooting star. Then as she did the night before, she wished her mother would get hit by a bus, anything to disable her ability to take them away from their father. She even laughed, the thought of her zombie-like mother, chasing she and Souta and suddenly getting smashed by a bus, or even a semi-truck!

"What's so funny?" She held back the rest of her laughter, and spun around.

"Souta! Should have known…" He laughed at her pouting face.

"Guess it would screw your reputation up if that was you I actually saw laughing," He stepped up beside her, staring at the blanket of stars hanging above.

"Yeah, I s'pose it would. Mind keeping your mouth shut for once, brat?" She smirked and both went to sit on one of the many smoothed beach logs.

"So…next week. Kind of scary, isn't it?" If there was ever an expert on how to piss off a woman, it was Souta. She crossed her arms and looked away from him.

"Yeah, so what of it. I'm not going. She and her lawyers can kiss my skinny ass, all the way to wonderland." This made him sigh.

"That's my sis, always with something nice to say," he laughed, and she snorted.

"Oh, but I've got plenty more to say to that woman!"

"You know, she's our mother, not just 'that woman'."

"Your point? I have no respect for some crazy bitch that tried to-" Souta covered her mouth, his eyes furiously blazing.

"I don't want to hear it. Yeah, I remember what she did. I have nightmares, _still._ You're not the only one who still feels fucked up over it- I think about it at least once a day, and I can't help that! We should just try to make the best of this, and see if this can work out."

"Hell no! I'm not giving in-"

"Fuck, Kags, that's just it! You _never _give in- no compromises, no peace- damn it all Kagome, stop being so selfish!"

She stood up in a fresh rage, and he along with her.

"I will not give in, I will not be forced!"

"Then don't be forced!"  
"What? What the hell does that mean?"

"_A branch that won't bend will break." _She stared at him, puzzled and shook the hair out of her face.

"Excuse me? What nonsense are you spouting now, brother?"

"I mean that if you don't give in, even a little bit, you'll just fuck up everything. If _you _don't bend for other people, you'll probably freak out and end up like mother." This caught her attention.

"So you're saying…that if I don't give that woman-" he glared warningly.

"Fine- _mom- _a shot, everything will just…blow up in my face?"  
He smiled. "_Now _you've got it, Kagome. Sometimes, a person ends up in a situation…where there is only one choice. But you- you don't seem to get that there really is just one good choice, and that's the problem. You think that the only way is your way, no highway option- as I recall was your favorite saying. You want to think that your way of doing things is better than the only choice you were left in, when in fact- your way is actually the worst."

She wandered a few steps away, and it seemed to him that she was really considering his words. Then, a moment later, she whirled around, with the most stoic expression he had ever seen cross her face.

"That, dear brother, is the biggest load of shit that I have ever heard come from your mouth."

(A/N: Souta does an anime fall! lol)

But still, Souta cracked an odd, even scary looking smile.

"Maybe so, Kagome. It was worth a shot…"

She grinned. "Yeah, nice try, bro…" But she stopped short at the funny expression on his face.

"Er… Souta?"

"Well, Kagome…guess I'll have to resort to plan B." His grin was that of the devil, she later swore to him.

"Ah…plan B? What's that…uh, Souta? Souta!"

(BLEEEEEEEEEPPPP

EDITOR'S CUT

"Due to some psychological problems the rest of that scene contained, and in part of Ms. Higurashi's wishes, We will henceforth follow up to the very next week. For personal reasons, Ms. Higurashi asked the author to withhold the reasons she agreed to go along with upcoming life transitions. Thank you, please read on!" )

Tuesday, Their last whole day in America 

"Kagome, I do not think you have to worry about anything. If anything should go wrong with you and your mother, all you have to do is simply call your father. If she slips up even once, they will bring you back here." Henry, her wisest friend the gardener of the grounds, reassured the sulking cat perched upon the brick wall of the shielded garden, as she chewed away on a dandelion weed.

"Yeah Henry, but it ain't you who's going, so that's easy for you to say." She watched from her perch as he pulled another weed from the soil, and tossed it to the pile of already dispatched weeds.

"Hey, hey Henry…I've never been to a public school before. What if the other kids are snobs, like they are on TV? Whenever I get close to another kid at Papa's parties, I choke up, get shy and I can't say anything! What if they don't like me?" The elderly man chuckled at her last statement.

"Kagome, I think you are a very likeable girl. I do believe you only have to be yourself, and others around you will see your boldness, bravery, and all of your other good qualities. Have I not said it before, my dear? It is-"

"-Always easier to see someone else's good qualities than your own. You just have to have the confidence in yourself that you have equally valuable qualities as everyone else. No one is worthless as they might think. Yeah, yeah, I know." She spat the weed from her mouth and sighed, looking up at the perfect-as-always blue sky. _I'm going to miss this weather, _She thought miserably, watching seagulls pass overhead. Then, she hopped down from the wall, onto the soft brown earth.

"Henry, you know today is our last whole day here. Later, Papa is taking us all to a to dinner. You _can't _say no this time, Henry," She held up her hands as he began to protest. "Please, pretty, pretty please with a rose on top?" She'd used this phrase many, many times to get her way- it was fail-proof even now. "Oh…all right, little cat," using her long-time nickname he had given her. He picked up the small scoop shovel, and wiped his sweating forehead with his arm.

"You know, my little cat, it's been eleven whole years, since we began this little garden. I remember how excited you were, to help me plant the seeds that first summer. Then, you read that book, _"The Secret Garden", _and you were adamant we make the garden exactly like the one in the book." He chuckled, and both looked about the garden.

"Yeah. And then, I told you about Dickin's stories he told to Mary. He was right, wasn't he? About the spring, I mean. I don't know about hearing those golden trumpets, but lying in the garden like that, that spring morning- it was so cool, huh."

"Ah yes, Spring. Did a world of good to a sickly little cat like you were, back then. Just like Mary, every time you came back to the garden, you were looking better and better. You even forgot about your mama, when you came here. I know you did," He nodded at her as she raised an irritated eyebrow.

"You did- you were always smiling the whole time you were here, singing as you planted and watered and fed the plants. And, I'll never forget your first visit, that following spring." Their eyes were lost in memory then.

FLASHBACK

_"Henry, Henry! Oh look it, Henry- hundreds, thousands of them! They're so beautiful, Henry…look what we did!" The little five-year-old was bursting so full of happiness, tears wear falling from her eyes._

"_We did pretty good, eh, little cat? Why, I never in my life seen a livelier looking bunch. Wait till your Papa sees this- why, he'll be darnright proud. And you should be too, little cat. You planted more than half this garden." Henry laughed as the child that had become his granddaughter danced about the small eden. His employer- that is, her father, and simply complied with Kagome's request that walls be built around it. Two months of construction later, both raced to fill the entire garden full of life._

_The next day, Kagome ran over to the garden, looking very upset. _

"_Oh Henry, Henry!" He looked up from his current project, the swing for the huge Oak tree he would put up in the spring, and was concerned._

"_Why Kagome, what's the matter?"_

"_We forgot to plant the grass!" He looked puzzled._

"_Oh, the grass? Well…that's all right dear, we've got time." But she was insistent._

"_No, no Henry! I want the grass to grow as fast as the flowers, so it's ready in the spring! We have to hurry!" He laughed. _

_"Oh…alright, we'll go get the seeds from the shed…"_

_And then, the first morning of spring, Kagome was pounding on his door._

"_Wake up, Henry! It's six 'o clock already, and you're not up yet? What's the matter Henry- don't you want to visit the garden?" How he had laughed at her anxiousness, as he buttoned his shirt and slowly shuffled on his shoes, and she had rushed him so furiously. _

"_Urgh, Henry! Hurry up! I want to see how much it's grown since Autumn, and I want to lie on my back and smell the morning dew and hear all the beautiful morning sounds and see the beautiful sun rise over the walls!" _

"_Oh Kagome, don't forget to breathe!" The child mistook his comment for encouragement. _

"_Oh, don't worry Henry! I'll breathe in that fresh spring air, oh, it feels so good to be alive…what do you think those wildflowers will look like…?" _

END OF FLASHBACK

Tears bubbled from the old man's watery blue eyes, and he sighed.

"Oh, little cat, I miss those days. Surely you won't forget to come back and visit the garden?" She smiled at him, a tear threatening to spill.

"Oh Henry, how could I not…" She embraced the old man she had come to love as her grandfather, and suddenly pulled away.

"So you'll definitely be there tonight, won't you?"

"…"

"Papa, that was absolutely the best dinner I've ever had. We have to go back there again, someday!" Kagome laid back and rubbed her stomach, too full to even think about digesting another bite. In the back of the limo was her, Souta, Henry, her father and Bridgette, the closest thing to a mother she'd ever had.

"Oh, you two ate more than all us adults combined! How did my children become such piglets!" Bridgette smacked the back of Hiroki's head.

"Like you're one to talk! _You _ate more than Henry and I!" In spite of that, everyone laughed. Dinner _had _been wonderful; everyone sitting together, laughing and talking of old but wonderful memories. The champagne had lightened up the first awkward moments, getting even Kagome to loosen up over the circumstances.

"Oh, oh Papa- remember the time I screwed up all the papers on your desk, and rearranged all your little figurines you got from India?"

"Oi, I was furious! Of course, I had to take action…"

"Yes, on innocent little me! You blamed me when you knew perfectly well I had the day off!" Bridgette cried and slung an arm around Hiroki's shoulders, and he an arm on hers. At this, Kagome grinned evilly.

"So, when's the wedding?" Instantly, both adults inched away away from the other, faces beet red.

"Kagome, quit speaking nonsense. There is absolutely nothing-"

"-Nothing anything more than X-rated going on between you two, we know." Souta laughed and leaned into his sister. Henry raised an eyebrow and contributed to the embarrassment.

"Right. Like what I saw in the western rose garden last week?"

"Henry, eek! You were spying on them?"

"No, no little cat- I merely heard the strangest of sounds coming from that direction and followed- and there they were, hum-"

"-Humming along with the birds, on a lovely afternoon walk together," Hiroki slapped a hand over Henry's mouth, and both man and woman smiled innocently under the teenagers's harsh, suspicious glares.

"What?"

And so, they were on the way home, all slightly drunk from the champagne and wine the twins had been allowed to order, as on a special occasion.

"Hey, Papa, let's stop at the beach for a minute, for old time's sake." Kagome was feeling squeamish, as the end of her world here was coming to an end.

"Ah, okay honey. We'll go…" his voice trailed off and he yawned, while Souta and Kagome were becoming more and more awake, the closer they got to home. Tomorrow, they would have to get up at seven 'o clock, to go to the airport. Their father and Bridgette would escort them, and then…it would be a max of a year before they could come home again, for christmas and summer vacation.

At the beach, their father walked out from the limo with them, to the special spot they had all spent many happy times, years ago. It was a perfect starry night, the waves crashing over the sands like a harmonic lullaby that had sung them to sleep night after night.

"Guys look, look how many shooting stars are coming out- it's a meteor shower!" For what seemed like hours, a twin sat on each side of their father, gaping at the sky in awe, making wish after wish.

"Well, it might seem like a long time, but don't you worry- before you know it, a year will pass and you'll be home for three full months! And when you become eighteen, you'll come back and live here with your old man again, won't you? Or you'll follow your dreams, become famous, and when you're old like me, you'll come back here, have kids and a million more happy memories of your own. Yeah, that's my only wish. I just want you kids to be happy. Listen to me," he got up from the log, turned and knelt down before his children, grasping a hand of each.

"Don't let that woman and what she did, or what she does get in your way, you understand me? You are _my _children, and my children are strong, and they follow their hearts! Listen to your gut instincts, no matter what anyone tells you to do. The only way you're going to make it, is if you hold on to each other, your sanity and your dreams, and never let go of that! This might sound like sheer bullshit to you right now, but someday, somebody's going to push you down, and maybe you'll look back at this, and use it to pull yourselves up. Do you understand me?"

They were speechless, but they did understand. The person the loved most in the world, their father, was trying to prepare them. They knew Hiroki had had a harsh life; he had been there, and knew what he was talking about.

"Papa, I promise, we won't forget! We won't let anything bring us down!" Souta clenched his free hand and stared into his father with burning eyes of passion and determination. Hiroki smiled, and ruffled his son's hair.

"That's my boy! Kagome…are you ready for this?" He turned to her. She said nothing, but not only in her eyes was fire, but an erie aura…of knowledge, a deep _knowing _look- as if she sensed what was coming. Hiroki simply smiled, and cupped her face.

"Yeah, you got it," He kissed their foreheads, and stood up, looking up at the sky.

"You guys…better get to bed soon. You've got a long day tomorrow." And he simply walked off, without another word.

For long after that, they simply sat on the log, in peaceful silence. Off into the distance they stared into the horizon, watching the moonlit sea meet with the sky, crash after crash of wave after wave. Finally, Souta spoke.

"Um…you all packed? I am."

"Yeah."

"Then…what does it matter, if we stay here to watch the sunrise?" She turned to smile weakly at her brother.

"I guess you're right…let's stay."

And stay they did, huddled together, watching every falling star in the sky, listening to each and every crashing wave, for hours and hours never blinking an eye. And when the pink of a rising sun appeared, both rose to go to the cold shore, barefoot in their fancy dinner clothes, Kagome in her long black nylon dress, Souta in the tux his father had to buy for him last minute. Walking into the water, it seemed almost as if walking to their deaths to drown in the ocean.

The sadness welled up in stagnant, dying hearts, and holding hands, they walked deeper into the waters as the sun was born again into a new day. It peeked over the horizon to spill over their bodies, and without warning, Kagome burst into tears and held her twin tightly as she watched. Tears spilled over his face as well, as he came to comprehend that this was the end of a chapter in their life, and the beginning of another, one that did not seem as bright.


	2. Jan 6, 2006

Author's Note:

Hello everyone…I know, I know…It's been too long. I've been reading more than I've been writing- but don't worry now- if it is what everyone wants, I'll start back up… either on "Behind the Glass", or "Painful Way to Live" (which I've changed, by the way, to "Ocean Eyes". So, if you would please give me a couple days, thank you- it will be along here shortly…


	3. Author's Note

As an author, I feel I have grown and improved with my work, and therefore felt the need to revise this story- I felt that the small chapter I had already wrote…well, it was hasty, some things sounded…amateur as far as the way I wrote it went. I'm sorry if you guys (people who were waiting for me to carry on with it) liked it the way it was- but I want to make it better, more understandable and for it to make sense.

So- this first chapter that I have now replaced…the chapter I originally wrote- Kagome's first day at school- is now replaced by a chapter that took place _before _Kagome arrived at the new school. It's about where Kagome originally lived, her life before that time- in America, with her twin brother and father. Her mother is basically involved with the siblings in some tragic, horrifying past- enough so that Kagome can barely stand her- while Souta is entrapped in their mother's sickeningly sweet innocent act, and starts turning against Kagome.

However- Kagome, and the rest of the group are yes, still Goth, Kikyo is still an evil whore but not Kagome's sister, however, but a distant relative. Inuyasha is still bad-boy of the group, a little rough around the edges, but strangely at ease with Kagome, and they gradually get together as the story goes on. In this story, Inuyasha's mother is alive and the only weakness Inuyasha has (Ooh, big softie!), and Kagome's character- well, she's shy at times, kind of cute, sometimes vulnerable, sometimes very strong willed. At some point, I'll darken her character- there will be angst in here- as well as comedy, so don't worry.

As the story goes on, I must hint to you- Kagome learns that her mother's side of the family is not entirely human. At some point, Naraku shows up, secret pasts are revealed, threats are made, there's trouble- I intend for this story to get just a bit complex.

Well, that's all I really have to say about this story, until I think otherwise- so read on!


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